Existence*

& the hollow day made me think.
As i stared at the ceiling, all i could see was your face
and all of our unfulfilled plans all of the emptiness swallowing me alive
i drowned in every memory i had of you
& it doesn't mean a thing.
This self defeat gets me every time
I know this feeling so well
yet i still close my eyes to all the warning signs on the ride down
Its amazing the impact you were unaware you even made
& now my only worry is i didn't return the favor
lesson after lesson, chance after chance,
And here's where we stand
keeping careful distance, and watching out just in case
curious of  the soul we once held so close
curious of the soul we know no longer know
terrified of our own curiosity
terrified of being let down
terrified of being a memory
terrified of fading
yet were so out of reach
tied together by a past
that eats us a part every time we remember it.
In my attempt at confronting my fears
ill admit:
I'm terrified of the existence of the only person
that holds enough of my heart to break me over and over again
fearful of existence.
fearful of haunting memories
fearful of letting go
fearful of holding on
I will not forget
No this day is eternally with me.
I felt it in my bones...
your existence

xoxo;;bird