Healed

[note: this is my first story that i've posted on my blog :D which would explain the formatting]

Part One.

        There would never be enough time allotted for these healing wounds and the only remedies they kept chanting were, "time will mend it all." They surrounded me. I couldn't see faces just destructive blobs speaking in tongues. It hurt just to keep my eyes open and just like that I slipped off into the inviting darkness.

   *   *  * 

I was gazing into the mirror rolling the smooth escape along my fingertips leaving a trail of chalky white residue. The monster was staring at me. Her tempting hallow gaze was unrecognizable and I felt weak gawking at her strength. Swallow, breathe, relax the cycle had become more routine since my once whole world seemed to be lost in the wormhole.

      Knock! Knock!

"Daughter are you in there?"

Fuck! Quickly i began to rummage through the restroom to bury my sanity out of sight.

"...everyone is looking for you, won't you come out and join us?" she cooed.

I cradled my tears a bit before flushing the toilet in my attempt to make things copasetic.

"Honey...I understand this is a hard time for you right now but..."

No she didn't. How could she possibly understand someone she barely knew? Besides the occasional phone call and brief encounters I hardly considered her a mother. In fact, we hadn't spent much time together since I was ten.

"...daughter will you please come out" she begged.

I opened the door to her standing there wearing this elaborate black dress blooming out of her tall stem-like heels, her make-up untouched by the sorrow of the day. She resembled the picture I kept of her at the bottom of my drawer. It wasn't until now that I realized how long it had been since I seen my mother.

"Well aren't you gonna give me a hug?" she chuckled.

"Hey mom," I said quietly before reaching hesitantly for her embrace. She smelled strongly of perfume and hairspray and just like that I missed her all over again.

"How ya holding up?" she asked rhetorically. " Your sister is here she misses you very much and she's just all torn up about the situation. I was hoping you could talk to her ya know give her a little I don't know...I just don't know what to say to her anymore," she sighed.

"Yeah, sure mom" I said uncertain. She led me into the kitchen where my sister sat unfazed by the sympathetic blobs.

"Have you gone to see her yet?" my mother whispers

"No." I spit harshly back.

"Sissy! I've missed you," she says while fiddling with her sleeve.

"I've missed you too. How are--"

"Fine," she says quickly.

"Come on now Victoria its me... you don't have to--"

"I know," she blubbers,"it's just hard to imagine...its just hard sissy."

       I hug her in attempt to blanket her sorrows and push back my forceful tears. I'm suppose to carry strength when she lacks it. For so long I've sheltered her from grief and distress, yet I knew the day would come when I would no longer be able to be her protector. I feared that day...I feared today.

"Have you seen her?" she asked while wiping her tears.

"No...have you?"

"No I'm scared to even go in there."

"Me too," I confessed.

"Let's go," she sniffled,"go with me?"

       As we stood to go see my grandma for that last time my heart fell to the floor and it was there I left it for the blobs to pick at. When we reached the room I began to second-guess my decision.

 "I'm scared sissy," Victoria whispered under her breath.

I grabbed her hand and as we made our way to the coffin I whispered 

"Me too."